Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Halfway

Warning....venting and complaining ahead.....its not all roses people...

21 weeks, halfway....can you believe it....? Some days I can and some days I really can't. I had a little bit of a 'woe is me moment' the other day when I was feeling really uncomfortable, tired, fat and grumpy.......that I am ONLY halfway. I still have another 20 weeks left. Holy S#*@ I thought, what have I done? I let that feeling digest for a little bit, maybe cried a little (maybe) and then picked myself off my most comfortable bed (where I could have laid for 5 hours straight) and figured out what to feed the children that were running around my house...(reality people, reality)
You see I do have days when I think to myself, "what the hell did you sign yourself up for Maureen?...why did you think that this would be fun?" And I feel I can't really complain or vent out loud because who decided to embark on this adventure?....yes that's right, ME......!!
But, then I get reminded in a really amazing way of why I did this....and here it is....



 Little man growing so perfectly and contently in me. We had the 20 week U/S last week and it was so awesome to see him up on the screen wiggling around and showing off for all of us.
 M and E and so, so excited and are so happy and that makes all those feelings of discomfort and the little battles I face so, so worth it. I remember why I decided to do this....I want to give people what I have. I want to give them a family, unconditional love, a future to hold on to....I can give them a forever......pretty powerful stuff......
So yeah, I am uncomfortable, I am feeling fat and not sleeping much.....but that is OK because it is a tiny bit of time in my life for a forever in someone else.
On a happier note, we are off to Disney next week with M & E....they are taking the kiddos and me for a fun day (see, I told you how awesome they are), It is going to be so fabulous and we are so pumped. The following week we get to see little one again in 4D. I never did this with my own 2, so it should be a really fun experience.
Check in soon.......xoxo

Monday, August 22, 2011

Waiting..wondering...hoping..

So I caught myself looking at maternity clothes online today. I quickly turned the page off and went to a different site. I kind of feel like a single women trying on wedding dresses...major no-no. No jinxing allowed.
I try to not think about getting pregnant, I try to not think about how this expereince would not only change my life, but J&E's as well. But it is so hard to not daydream and wish, pray, hope and cross every finger and toe that this will happen.
I haven't had much contact with J&E since we met. A few e-mails here and there, but honestly, what is the point of bonding and forming this relationship if the pregnancy doesn't happen. I always have to remind myself that this is science, not really nature and things happen in science that you don't want to happen. This pregnancy might NOT happen. It is not what I hope for, but it is a reality that I must face.
So until then I daydream. We have a tentative start date at the end of September, but there is really nothing else going on until then. I am taking birth control pills to regulate my cycle, but that is it.
So in the meantime, I take care of my family, run errands, go to playgroups, entertain 2 littles and wait, wonder and hope....