Waiting..wondering...hoping..

So I caught myself looking at maternity clothes online today. I quickly turned the page off and went to a different site. I kind of feel like a single women trying on wedding dresses...major no-no. No jinxing allowed.
I try to not think about getting pregnant, I try to not think about how this expereince would not only change my life, but J&E's as well. But it is so hard to not daydream and wish, pray, hope and cross every finger and toe that this will happen.
I haven't had much contact with J&E since we met. A few e-mails here and there, but honestly, what is the point of bonding and forming this relationship if the pregnancy doesn't happen. I always have to remind myself that this is science, not really nature and things happen in science that you don't want to happen. This pregnancy might NOT happen. It is not what I hope for, but it is a reality that I must face.
So until then I daydream. We have a tentative start date at the end of September, but there is really nothing else going on until then. I am taking birth control pills to regulate my cycle, but that is it.
So in the meantime, I take care of my family, run errands, go to playgroups, entertain 2 littles and wait, wonder and hope....

The Beginning

So here I am.....I have always thought about starting a blog, writing down my daily experiences and thoughts. But, I didn't really think that I had much to say that would interest anyone else and with this whole blogging community brimming with awesome bloggers, I guess I felt a little intimidated...to say the least. But then I decided to shake up my life a bit....as if having 2 kids under the age of 4, running a business and trying to run a household wasn't enough.....
What did I decide to do? Well, I decided to become a surrogate. Yes, you heard it right......surrogate......crazy, right? Well to me it is a little crazy, but more like crazy beautiful.......
So this is my journey, the beginning, the middle and the end......I am all about being honest and can be a little rough around the edges, so SORRY...(kind of). Some names will be changed to protect identity, but otherwise you will get the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Thanks for checking it out!