Halfway

Warning....venting and complaining ahead.....its not all roses people...

21 weeks, halfway....can you believe it....? Some days I can and some days I really can't. I had a little bit of a 'woe is me moment' the other day when I was feeling really uncomfortable, tired, fat and grumpy.......that I am ONLY halfway. I still have another 20 weeks left. Holy S#*@ I thought, what have I done? I let that feeling digest for a little bit, maybe cried a little (maybe) and then picked myself off my most comfortable bed (where I could have laid for 5 hours straight) and figured out what to feed the children that were running around my house...(reality people, reality)
You see I do have days when I think to myself, "what the hell did you sign yourself up for Maureen?...why did you think that this would be fun?" And I feel I can't really complain or vent out loud because who decided to embark on this adventure?....yes that's right, ME......!!
But, then I get reminded in a really amazing way of why I did this....and here it is....

 Little man growing so perfectly and contently in me. We had the 20 week U/S last week and it was so awesome to see him up on the screen wiggling around and showing off for all of us.
 M and E and so, so excited and are so happy and that makes all those feelings of discomfort and the little battles I face so, so worth it. I remember why I decided to do this....I want to give people what I have. I want to give them a family, unconditional love, a future to hold on to....I can give them a forever......pretty powerful stuff......
So yeah, I am uncomfortable, I am feeling fat and not sleeping much.....but that is OK because it is a tiny bit of time in my life for a forever in someone else.
On a happier note, we are off to Disney next week with M & E....they are taking the kiddos and me for a fun day (see, I told you how awesome they are), It is going to be so fabulous and we are so pumped. The following week we get to see little one again in 4D. I never did this with my own 2, so it should be a really fun experience.
Check in soon.......xoxo

17 weeks and counting!

Well my attempt to update weekly has obviously failed. We are already at week 17 and it feels like the time is just flying by.
Thanks for all the positive feedback that you all gave after my initial announcement. Even though I am comfortable with what I have set out to do, it is nice to be supported by friends and family.
So a little about what is going on.......
Tim and I officially told our kids a couple of weeks ago. I am lucky enough to be a part of an amazing surrogate support group with an experienced therapist leading it. She gave me some amazing advice on how to break the news to the kids and I followed it to a T.
Luckily, I pretty much have the most awesome children on the face of the planet (please remind me of this if you ever see me out and about and one of them is throwing down a massive tantrum because I refuse to buy Lucky Charms) and they were totally excited and I feel like they actually "got it". Mike and Ernie had come down to spend the day with all of us 2 days prior to me breaking the news to C & T and it was great. The kids got to know them, so when I told them what was happening, it wasn't so strange for them.
I finally got released to my OB. What a treat to be back in that office with my doctor, he has been so rad and it is so cute to see the office treating M&E like rock stars....promise, i never had this kind of treatment when it was just plain ole me.....but who can blame the staff, the boys are so charming, smell so nice and are perfectly groomed every time...those ladies at the office are all in LOVE!!
 Baby boy looks great every time we go and it is such a relief to me. This is the most extreme babysitting job I have ever had and I constantly worry that little man is growing properly and on schedule.
Just this past few days, I have been a a little uncomfortable. Starting to finally show instead of looking like I gained a cool 15 this summer.....yay for maternity clothes, can we say brand new wardrobe!! whoot-whoot......
 This heat is driving me crazy and the extended summer (that I thought was SO fabulous in JUNE) has broken me. My kids NEED to be back in school and I need to not be with them every second of every day. The hormones, heat and having to entertain them all day is driving me bananas. 4 days......
Next appointment in a couple weeks, can't wait to see the little bugger on the screen.....

I'm Back!!

Well hello there friends and family in blog land.....if you are reading this it is because you are wanting some updates and filler ins on the comings and goings of my ever lasting surrogacy journey.

I am so glad you are here and I can't thank you enough for the support and love that I have had from so many of you already.

A lot of time has passed since my last entry. I was sad, defeated and a little confused as to where my surrogate journey would eventually take me. This roller coaster ride has had ups, downs, twists, turns....all leading to somewhere, just not fully known. While many thought my ride was going to end, I wasn't ready to get off yet, I still was craving the unknown adventure that I had waited for and invested so much time and emotion in.

And here we are........first, lets update.

Last year after my first couple decided to leave the program I immediately was re-matched with a wonderful local couple. Their story was heartbreaking and Tim and I were anxious to work with them. After a quick medical clearance we were at transfer day within just weeks and on the road to pregnatville. After a positive pregnancy test and u/s, sadly the heartbeat stopped at about 6 weeks. Devastated for the IP's (intended parents) and for myself, I wasn't sure as to what would happen.....(The IP's eventually decided to move on and re-matched with another surrogate per their RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) advice.

 After 2 miscarriages, would I still be a candidate for surrogacy? Would anyone want to take a chance on me and what seemed to be my bad luck......My agency was super positive and very supportive of me and after many medical tests to ensure that I was still a good candidate for surrogacy they found me the most perfect and amazing IP's ever.....

I was re-matched with Mike and Ernie (M & E) in early Spring of this past year , 2013. They were all set to go, egg donor in place, research acquired, doctor ready.......best of all they had ZERO expectations. This was their first go at any attempt of baby making and what a RELIEF this was.....my past 2 couples had gone through YEARS of disappointment, carried the burden of infertility on their breaking shoulders and were DESPERATE for a baby.....M & E were such a breath of fresh air; not stressing over little things, wanting what was best for me and EXCITED for the journey........happily, we were matched and the journey began on Memorial Day 2013.

2 perfect embryos were implanted and I am happy to announce that one took and  a beautiful baby is on it's way, due date is February of 2014.

Relief has been pouring through me since the first u/s. I am so happy that my body has been able to help in this process of creating a new life and a new family for M & E. I have taken my time announcing this news to people....I am careful about how I approach the subject as I know the importance of my words and the weight of them. My children are being told slowly and meaningfully as I want them to be a part of the whole process and to be with us every step of the way. What an amazing thing for them to be a part of.

I am appreciative of the support I have gotten so far, I am hopeful that the people I choose to surround myself with and bring into my intimate circle will continue to love and support my family through this awesome adventure.

I am excited to share this journey with you....cheers to an amazing 6 more months!!!