Today was one of those days that you know you are going to remember for the REST of your life. It is almost surreal because it is like you are completely in the present, but can look into the future at the same time and know that 10 years from now, I will remember everything about this day.
Here is the background...
J&E flew in this week for an ultrasound and of course the retrieval (yes, scary crazy that we are at this stage already!) and will be staying around for the transfer. Today I also had an appointment for an ultrasound to see how this girls uterus and all those other fun parts are stacking up under the influence of all these awesome meds. I have been injecting. So everything was coordinated so that our appointments were at similar times and then we could go out to lunch afterwards.
I was really nervous. I don't know why...well maybe I know why....I have only met them in person once, back in May, we have e-mailed a bit back and forth, but have not had any one on one interactions. I just really wanted to make another good impression, kind of to hammer it down that "yes, I am the perfect person to carry your child for 9 months, then give birth to such child and then hand over to you such child". Silly I know, cuz they already decided to have me be their surrogate and we have been plugging along here for quite some time, still......
After a CRAZY drive to LA, I somehow still managed to get to the appointment early and after coming out of the lab where my blood was drawn, again, I saw J & E crossing the lobby. J is super tall and super French and super easy to spot. E is super, crazy, ridiculously tiny and just oozes Parisian style; que in beautiful Chanel ballet flats, Hermes scarf, tailored pants,she is by all means perfectly French. We both saw each other and immediately I felt it...this crazy, awesome feeling. "This is right, this is perfectly right" I said to myself.....like the final piece to the puzzle.....together we all are one surro team that fits "just right".
Greetings, hugs, super cool French air kisses followed and then we got down to baby makin biz-nass.
2 ultrasounds later (one for me and one for E) we found out that she has 4 perfectly beautiful eggs and I have a "textbook" uterus, ah thankyouverymuch.......:) We all left leaving the office in great spirits and headed to Brentwood at a little "casual" Italian restaurant that J & E had picked out. By casual, I mean, I swear I saw Kyle from Real Housewives and maybe used the same restroom as someone that could or could have not been on TV.....but honestly, it didn't even phase me. I was so tuned in to J & E and we were in our own little world...laughing, eating, talking, smiling......It was at this table in the middle of this little outdoor cafe that I realized, I am so happy. I am so incredibly happy to be doing this for these deserving people. It feels insanely good to risk something for someone else. Everyday my life is all about my kids, my husband and maybe a little about me. But to step out of my little bubble and extend myself feels SO damn good.
So 2 hours later full of pasta, cheese that I do not even know how to pronounce, but is so stinkin good, and delicious bread we left our little cafe. But before we left we made a big cheers...glasses raised, glances cast and smiles adorned and me declaring us "team baby"!!
Stay tuned, next week will hopefully be the big TRANSFER.....toes crossed, fingers crossed, prayers whispered for me, pretty please???
Friday, September 30, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
A big fat THANKS!!!
I just wanted to thank everyone who looked at the blog this week and left me some awesome supportive comments. :)
Honestly, most of the feedback that I have gotten has been super awesome. I had only told a few people prior to telling EVERYONE and so far the feeback has been off the charts amazing!!
There have been the few people that feel it is their duty to tell me "wow, I could never give my baby up" and "are they paying you a ton of money or something to do this".....and so on......My general response in my head to those people is "seriously, are you this lame?" But, my actual response that comes out of my mouth is " Well it isn't MY baby to begin with, so I am not giving anyone up.. and, "it is a good thing that they didn't ask you to be a surrogate".
The money question.....well me being me, and being honest about everything to a fault, I tell them how much I am making. I mean I know that they WANT to know, so I am not going to beat around any bushes. But the fact of the matter is, I am not doing this for the money, yes, it is nice to be compensated for the 9 months that I will be growing a human being, but it is not life changing money. Much the same way that teachers choose their profession...it is not going to make them rich, but the chance to help others is an amazing thing and they feel a calling to it.
So anyways, thanks again everyone.......the support will be so special to me as I tread through the long journey ahead.
Honestly, most of the feedback that I have gotten has been super awesome. I had only told a few people prior to telling EVERYONE and so far the feeback has been off the charts amazing!!
There have been the few people that feel it is their duty to tell me "wow, I could never give my baby up" and "are they paying you a ton of money or something to do this".....and so on......My general response in my head to those people is "seriously, are you this lame?" But, my actual response that comes out of my mouth is " Well it isn't MY baby to begin with, so I am not giving anyone up.. and, "it is a good thing that they didn't ask you to be a surrogate".
The money question.....well me being me, and being honest about everything to a fault, I tell them how much I am making. I mean I know that they WANT to know, so I am not going to beat around any bushes. But the fact of the matter is, I am not doing this for the money, yes, it is nice to be compensated for the 9 months that I will be growing a human being, but it is not life changing money. Much the same way that teachers choose their profession...it is not going to make them rich, but the chance to help others is an amazing thing and they feel a calling to it.
So anyways, thanks again everyone.......the support will be so special to me as I tread through the long journey ahead.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Loopy
So I haven't had much to report lately. A lot of this process involves waiting and perfect timing. It is crazy how the medical field can manipulate nature to make this all happen. They are having to literally sync my body up with E's. But so far so good. I have never been so predictable. Never!!
I started Lupron about 2 weeks ago. My fellow surros call it, "Loopy on Lupron". Yes, the first day was hell, but I recovered and since then it really hasn't been too awful. Injecting myself on a daily basis with a hormone is pretty gnarly and def. something I never though that I could pull off......Tim watched me one night sticking the needle in my stomach and was really impressed......I just shrugged it off as it was no big deal, but to be honest, every night I really dread doing it. I have an alarm on my phone to remind me of when to take the med. and I probably wait until 2 hours later to actually do it. I try not to complain and put myself where E is and has been....she has gone through this ordeal 14 times and failed 14 times. Now that is a hell I would never want to live through.
This week I added yet another hormone....estrogen patches. I have to wear them on my lower abdomen 24 hours a day for 2 days at a time, then switch them out with 2 different patches. The first night I put them on I had a pounding, not so pretty, leave mom alone headache. I crawled into bed and didn't come up for air until I was needed by Carter to turn on the TV the next morning. That too passed and I am feeling a little better now that my body is regulating itself back to "normal". Again, trying not to complain here as I go through any of this, because at the end of the day, my arms are full with my babies to hold and E's are still empty.....
I heard from E yesterday and she said she had gotten her period, which is what we were waiting for, so it is looking like the transfer might be early October...holy smokies, but SO exciting...I got a bit of goosebumps when I read those words. But that being said it is TOTAL perfect timing (insert my very sarcastic voice here), you might say, since we just bought a house and are planning to start moving and packing that VERY SAME WEEK!!! oops!! Looks like awesome, bestest, amazing hubby is going to shoulder much of that this time...shucks!! I am trying to convince him of that this is an opportunity to actually hire MOVERS!!! Wow, what a concept.....:)
So that is it for now.....report more when I know more........
I started Lupron about 2 weeks ago. My fellow surros call it, "Loopy on Lupron". Yes, the first day was hell, but I recovered and since then it really hasn't been too awful. Injecting myself on a daily basis with a hormone is pretty gnarly and def. something I never though that I could pull off......Tim watched me one night sticking the needle in my stomach and was really impressed......I just shrugged it off as it was no big deal, but to be honest, every night I really dread doing it. I have an alarm on my phone to remind me of when to take the med. and I probably wait until 2 hours later to actually do it. I try not to complain and put myself where E is and has been....she has gone through this ordeal 14 times and failed 14 times. Now that is a hell I would never want to live through.
This week I added yet another hormone....estrogen patches. I have to wear them on my lower abdomen 24 hours a day for 2 days at a time, then switch them out with 2 different patches. The first night I put them on I had a pounding, not so pretty, leave mom alone headache. I crawled into bed and didn't come up for air until I was needed by Carter to turn on the TV the next morning. That too passed and I am feeling a little better now that my body is regulating itself back to "normal". Again, trying not to complain here as I go through any of this, because at the end of the day, my arms are full with my babies to hold and E's are still empty.....
I heard from E yesterday and she said she had gotten her period, which is what we were waiting for, so it is looking like the transfer might be early October...holy smokies, but SO exciting...I got a bit of goosebumps when I read those words. But that being said it is TOTAL perfect timing (insert my very sarcastic voice here), you might say, since we just bought a house and are planning to start moving and packing that VERY SAME WEEK!!! oops!! Looks like awesome, bestest, amazing hubby is going to shoulder much of that this time...shucks!! I am trying to convince him of that this is an opportunity to actually hire MOVERS!!! Wow, what a concept.....:)
So that is it for now.....report more when I know more........
Thursday, September 1, 2011
And So It Begins
I got a lovely package in the mail today....it was a big box delivered right to my doorstep marked CONFIDENTIAL, OPEN IMMEDIATELY, PERISHABLE ITEMS INSIDE.....wow, what comes in a box that says all those things? I really had NO idea what I was getting.....did Tim order me something, did I order something and forget about it?
I quickly go inside, put down the 1 child I am carrying, the purse, 2 sippy cups and the big mystery box and rip into it....out comes this......
Big deep breath, big swallow of the knot that has formed in my throat and big slap of reality across my face....."and so it begins", I tell myself. I knew this moment was coming, have been kind of picturing what the Lupron injections are going to look like.....but to have it all staring at you from a big white cooler box is a little overwhelming.
So I do what I do best in these situations, get organized.......I put the Lupron in the fridge, lined up all the meds, put the needles away and out of sight, ugh...and changed my tude.......cuz no one is forcing me to do this and at the end of the day when the fear subsides, I am EXCITED.......wrote a quick e-mail to J&E to let them know that my meds. box had arrived and went on with my night......
Here we GO!!!!!!
I quickly go inside, put down the 1 child I am carrying, the purse, 2 sippy cups and the big mystery box and rip into it....out comes this......
So I do what I do best in these situations, get organized.......I put the Lupron in the fridge, lined up all the meds, put the needles away and out of sight, ugh...and changed my tude.......cuz no one is forcing me to do this and at the end of the day when the fear subsides, I am EXCITED.......wrote a quick e-mail to J&E to let them know that my meds. box had arrived and went on with my night......
Here we GO!!!!!!
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