Settling In

So as I sit here on a Saturday morning, snuggled up against my babies watching Disney the realization that I am pregnant is actually starting to become part of my new reality and I am settling into this new role that I have signed up for.
I am not going to lie and say that there haven't been tiny moments of "what did I do"..and "how am I going to manage all this?", especially this week......this has been a tough week. The babes have been sick and the move to the new house has been overwhelming. On day 2 of our move in we realized that we have a slab leak, which means our water has been turned off for about 5 days now. Not such a big deal, but when your patience level is at an all time low and you are dealing with sick kids, anything left over is pretty much adding to an already full plate.
And the exhaustion has really begun to set in. I am so tired at different points of my day and I can't seem to shake it. Where I once would slug down a cup of afternoon caffeine is no longer an option. I remember this tiredness when I was pregnant with Carter.....to my bones tired. But, at the time he was 2, my only child and still napping at least 2 hours every day (obvs. I was napping too!!). Now my life is a bit different......that 2 year old is now 5 and does not nap. My 2 year old, who thankfully does still nap; is going through a little clingy, whiny, crying phase right now that just drags me under.
I hate that I am complaining about this, but I feel like I can't really complain in real life because I think that people will just look at me and say, "ummm...didn't you volunteer to do this?", but sometimes it is necessary to vent, to cry and to be overwhelmed. I am so lucky to have such an awesome support system with my parents and husband, but lets face it, I am driving this ship and dealing with a lot of this on my own. I am expected to retain the normal routine of our household.The Enoch house doesn't stop because I decided to get pregnant. As noble as it is to be a surrogate, life still has to go on....dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, carpools, bills paid, house cleaned........real life is not going to stop for 9 months so I can be pregnant in peace.
But, alas, I will make it. I have to. The responsibility that I have been granted is super amazing and I do not take it lightly.
That being said, my Beta test was super-duper fabuloso this week.....867....yes, eight hundred and frickin sixty-seven.....quite an awesome jump from my little ole 49. I am pretty proud and super excited. I am officially 5 1/2 weeks along and have one more Beta test to get through before we possibly get to have an ultrasound to see the heartbeat!!!
Ok, thanks for letting me rant........off to try to get my non eating 2 year old to actually eat something other than Ranch dressing and a Popsicle for breakfast.......